Who brought about the concept of punishment in marriage? There’s no doubt that issues would happen in homes; couples would hurt each other and there will be moments of rage. The big question is: what type of offence is unforgivable, in marriages and relationships? Is cheating unforgivable? It is understandable, that cheating may be unforgettable, as it will require a lot of patience on the part of the offended not to allow insecurity creep in. It’s definitely tough to forget that you caught your partner in the act. It defiles everything that makes a worthy union. However, if that’s the case, isn’t it better to quit the relationship instead of being malicious, leading them on in pretence of forgiveness and punishing them till they slowly lose their sanity and you, your humanity?

I met a lady recently, her marriage is in a mess she created, according to her. She explained that she didn’t tell her husband the whole truth about her past. If all she said is anything to go by, her husband is pissed to have found out a year into their marriage that she was previously married. I was gobsmacked too! How? She told me she divorced the guy 6 months into the marriage.

“Why didn’t you tell the new man?”

She said she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. I can’t quite fathom how the indications weren’t popping up. I mean, someone must have attended both weddings, but that’s not the issue. The issue is since he found out, he has continually denied her of sex, not eat in and moved into the visitor’s room. She has asked him if he wants a divorce and he declined. He said he needs time to process the whole thing and heal. It’s been 3 months now. The lady is slowly losing her mind. Members from both families have met him in an attempt to make him see reason, but the husband keeps saying he isn’t ready to move on from it.

1. What’s your advice for the lady in question?

2. Is it even right, that he is punishing her?

3. What exactly did she do wrong?