We got a mail from a lady:

“He’s charming, caring, and rich. His family adores you and he’s absolutely in love with you. Say yes to his proposal already.

Everyone wants me to say yes to him; everyone who knows us has been waiting for us to go down the aisle. We’ve been together for seven years now and it is the right thing to do, but I still have my doubts. He is everything I want except that he’s unreasonably possessive and really chauvinistic. He always wants things done in his own way, at his own pace and in his own time. Apart from that, he’s really insecure. In all of our years together, he knows I’ve never cheated on him, not even for a moment, yet he doesn’t trust me. He has access to all my social accounts, my ATM card, my phone, has a key to my apartment and every other thing you can think of.

About three months back, I discovered he blocked four of my friends on Facebook, deleted ten of my blackberry contacts, and deactivated my Skype account. Just last week, he embarrassed my boss because he held my hand. He picks my calls at will and replies my chats/messages. He keeps a tab on me whenever I’m out of town and calls at odd hours of the night to be sure I’m not with someone else. He made me choose between him and my best friend (male) and even picks out my female friends. He even picks out my clothes which I thought was cute at first until I noticed he was deliberately putting off everything above knee length.

I have complained about this over and over, but each time I do he throws a fit and rant about how I had something to hide. I love him so very much and really want to marry him but then what’s going to happen when we get married? Everybody thinks I’m just being unnecessarily worried and he’ll get over it once we’re married. He’s just so domineering and I’m scared he might hit me one day.”

What I think:

Beneath all of this; I figured they love each other. But then, he’s overprotective and domineering. A lot of relationships have unhealthy issues like this; insecurity and obsession. It is absolutely normal to be jealous, but you need to draw a line between jealousy and being tight-fisted. Relationship is a two way thing: stop evading her privacy (phone calls, texts, chats, and social networks) because she’s your girlfriend. She had friends before you; she has a right to her freedom.

He had a life before you got together; stop trying to shackle him down because he’s your man. Stop picking your man’s call; it’s his phone. The girl calling him might just be the overbearing boss he told you about, cut the guy some slack.

Let her have some “me time” she wasn’t created because of you. Let her wear what she wants as long as she doesn’t look trashy. Let him hang out with his friends, he needs to talk to other people besides you. Stop being paranoid, she might not be with another guy as you think.

She’s really at the salon getting all prettied up for you. He’s really at the boutique trying to pick out something for his sister’s birthday. A relationship is not the end of your life; it should be a beginning of something beautiful. It is not slavery either; love is freedom of expression.

Focus more on your emotions and channel all your jealous energy into proving to your partner there can’t be anyone better. Lack of trust kills a relationship faster than the speed of light. Nobody wants to be shackled down in the name of a relationship Do not turn it into a prison.